Another blessing was that my sister is an educator so I had and still have guidance and great advise. I contacted Early Steps which is early intervention program in my state. Although my daughter was learning we knew something was not quite right . She was evaluated . At the end of the evaluation she told me my daughter had a developmental delay and would like be diagnosed with autism . 

I FELT MY HEART SINK...

I felt my heart sink . I was confused , angry and scared all at once.

Confused as to how this happened. There was no history of autism in my family or my husband's family. I blamed myself . i was healthy and took care of myself before and during pregnancy. 

I WENT FROM CONFUSED TO MAD......

I went from confused to mad .Thinking this is not fair. The anger turned to sadness as I realized that she would face more challenges than a non autistic child. The sadness turned to fear as its a cruel world and i thought how am I going keep her safe and shielded from the cruelty. 

After the flood of emotions I began to feel grateful and blessed. Those .ugly feeling turned to determination. I would become her number 1 advocate!