SETTING THEM UP FOR SUCCESS 

The word SUCCESS means different things to different people.  Some people define it by having a great career, some say its about having a great family, some define it with  material objects ,some define it as being happy, some define it as being content.  Being SUCCESSFUL  rarely happens by accident.  Being successful takes work ,determination and a plan . Being successful means HAVING a GOAL AND UNDERSTANDING HOW YOU DEFINE SUCCESS. 

SO HOW DO YOU HELP YOUR LOVED ONE WITH AUTISM BE SUCCESSFUL?

The goals will change as your loved one grows.  It is important for parents/caregivers to explain the connection between goals and success.  When a toddler successfully achieves a goal, we celebrate with praise and expression ( in my opinion) . As a child gets older, the goals set require more specifics, and the way the  caregiver acknowledges and communicates will change . In my opinion, it's crucial for the parent / caregiver to be involved to teach problem solving skills ,manage frustrations, and celebrate successes.

 

SO WHAT DOES AN AUTISTIC PERSON NEED TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE????

 

My daughter is very smart . Her last IQ score in 8th grade was 130. She finished the IQ test in 10 minutes. Her IQ may have been higher had she not rushed through the test ! I have no doubt that she will always excel academically, but what If she cannot make a sandwich, do basic household chores, practice good hygiene , understand basic finance, or tolerate sensory challenges ?? Will she be able to live independently without knowing  any life skills? 

As her mother it's my  job to teach her as many life skills as I can. 

 

It's sometimes  overwhelming to think about the amount of things  we need to teach our children. The things that others take for granted! Autism moms are truly speacil. 

Just remember the endgame is teaching your child to be independent. Look at the skill or task you want to teach and honesty evaluate your child's ability as it relates to the task . 

 

We started with basic hygiene.

Washing hands was first , we labeled the faucets Hot /Cold , we practiced with water and  no soap at first , I stood next to my daughter , she watched me wash my hands first then we stood side by side and she continued to practice. My daughter found that helpful. I told her to  get the front and back of her hands wet . Wash the front and back of her hands for about 25 seconds ( we counted to 25 ) and rinse. At first I laid a papertowel next to the sink and told her to make sure water dripped from the front of her hands and the back of her hands . If water dripped from the front and the back then she was good. 

Next we incorporated soap. We actually started with Johnson baby shampoo (  just incase she left soap on her hands and rubbed her eyes ) i told her that if she did not rinse all of the soap off and rubbed her eyes it would burn . We used the same technique as above . I  also told her that the  front and back of her hands would have bubbles on them from the soap.

Wiping 

Next we worked on wiping stressing she was to wipe front to back . She practiced with a stuffed animal a few times to get the idea. I also explained the importance of washing her hands after using the bathroom.  This maybe gross but I explain if she had poop on her hands it could make her very sick .

 

Brushing teeth , using cavity rinse 

Next we tackled independent teeth brushing . She used a electronic toothbrush and a tooth brush that cover the front and back of each tooth. ( available on Amazon just search for toothbrushes for autism) I have her pull down her front bottom lip when brushing . The dentist said  the plaque build up was the worst there. We also incorporated a bubbles gum cavity rinse. My kid loves being in the shower. The shower head  makes  a great water pick . I am lucky my daughter does not eat gummy candy or sugary candy.  She eats cupcakes, oreos and only drinks water .She is a teenager now and has never had a cavity. 

 

See separate blog entries on hair washing 

We still struggle with hair washing . See my ENTRY ON HAiR WASHING AND AUTISM, AS WELL AS RINSE AND REPEAT!!!

 

Snacks,drinks and using the microwave/toaster oven 

 

My daughter has a very limited diet so we decided to start with her making one item at a time . We are still working on this but have made process. She can get her own water if thirsty and get a plastic bowl from the cabinet if she wants a snack ( she only eats cheese its )  we discuess portion control . I told her to use her fist as a guide . When the bowls content was about the size of her fist she should stop pouring . If she finished that portion and was still hungry she could have a second serving using her fist as a guide. 

 

Currently we are working on making pizza . She will eat pizza for breakfast and dinner sometimes. She knows how to preheat the oven and set the timer.  I am still trying to get the courage to let her use the oven when it's hot. What we are doing is practicing with the oven off . She puts her pizza on the pan, puts the oven mits on and opens the oven to place the pan inside. 

 

She does know how to use the microwave if she really wants pizza and wants to make it on her own . I told her nothing silver goes in the microwave!! 

 

Household chores 

She has two chores to do around the house but is learning more . Google "kids instructions on microwave ovens," I found a microwave comprehension quiz and kids household chores instruction sheets.

 

I will talk about one more thing that we do. In my next entry I will show how her skill set has grown to understand more complex issues as it relates to spending and  some budgeting.  

 

Budgeting and spending 

 

Two years ago we started a exercise on spend and budgeting. My daughter and I went on Amazon ,and she picked out a small purse ( more like a wristlet) to  keep my car . I gave her a small calculator , a small note pad, and a pen to carry on the wristlet.  On Monday, I would give her 10.00, and each day on the way home from school, we would stop at either the dollar general or the Shell gas station convenience store . It was always her choice. 

If we stopped and she got some oreos, she would walk up to the counter, greet the sales associate, and place the oreos on the counter.  She would pay for them, and she would put her change away . She would then take her calculator and subtract what she spent from her ten dollars . She would record it on her notepad, and we would repeat the activity the next day on the way home from school . If she decided she wanted a toy or a gift card  from the store she knew what she had to spend , and if she spent the rest of her money at the beginning of the week she would have to wait until the following Monday before we stopped and shopped again .

She liked having control over her purchasing power .  Some weeks she would save the ten dollars and put it in her bank at home. 

 

This activity led to her having her own debit card. Of course I fund it, but she can use it when she wants something with supervision, of course. She signed up for a monthly membership to do some artwork on her  computer. She used her debit card to set the subscription up ,and she subtracts 7.99 from her debit balance every month . 

 

The process has been slow we have been working on basic life skills for years . She now has some  understanding of the how's and why's of money . YOU NEED IT FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING AND ONCE IT IS SPENT IT'S GONE . Her confidence level has improved and she likes the independent on most days.

We still have our lazy days , but the point is that she is learning skill needed to be independent.  

 

Sensory processing challenges 

 

Her sensory issues are still the biggest challenge.  If your child has sensory intergration issues or sensory processing issues please see my ENTRIES TITLED SENSORY INTERGRATION ,SENSORY INTERGRATION 101, and entries on HYPOSENSITIVITY and HYPESENSITIVITY.  There is alot if information that may help you recognize behavior that have baffled you.  . 

 

Stay tuned for more on life skills

 

Stay tuned for my next entry dealing with more financial literary activities. I will share making a shopping list , household necessities as it relates to bills and paychecks.  I would suggest getting some play money too. Some kids with autism are take things literally, so it just makes the activity easier in my opinion.